Ramadan is upon us again, another year! I’m still never going to be able to get over the fact of how quick this year, 2018 is just flying by. I can’t believe we’re halfway through the year now, and given the current life situations of mine, time is just flying on by.
Ramadan was/is going fine for the most part. I was afraid of fasting the first few days, because i always think it will be so hard to not eat all day long, but of course, the body surprises you in ways you’ll never imagine. Thankfully, i was able to survive the first day and first few days fine, so then the rest becomes easier. Thirst though, will never be easy to deal with. I’d have water over food any day.
I tried to read a little bit of Quran daily after my Zuhr/Asr prayers. I always try to read the Quran on/off all year long, but especially regularize it during this month. And as per usual, we had a handful of iftar parties every weekend, so that was fun too, but exhausting when people decide to have Sunday night iftari’s because i’m super zombie on Mondays.
Waking up for sehri – sleeping after for few hours – and waking for work, is the absolute worst. I contemplated skipping sehri, but in the past when i do that, i feel like i will 100% pass out/faint by end of day because that makes my fast almost 24 hours, so it’s just NOT worth being sick over being tired.
Working full time, 9-5, and fasting is the truest challenge. I would definitely prefer going to school vs. working during Ramadan. Struggles. We’re in the last 10 days now, and i’m so glad, but also sad at the same time because this month just flew by!
One of the biggest things i’ve done this month is invested in myself and my mental health, for the first time, fully, truly, wholly. Ramadan is a great time to start something new, right? So i did just that. I know mental health is basically taboo and not something discussed in our South-Asian community with our parents generation, but our generation is doing a better job of it so hopefully it will be easier for our kids.
Anyways, i’ve lived most of my life in fear, and in some days i do. Fear of my parents, fear of judgement, fear of what-ifs, what-not, etc. So it’s caused a lot of other issues and i severely lack self-confidence, self-esteem, and doubting everything i do and decision making skills. And there’s no time like the NOW to make changes. I am finally content with this decision i’ve made to actually get help and talk to someone about all of these issues, because it was beginning to cause issues in my relationship, and as i’m entering a new phase of life very soon iA, I finally just decided to DO something about it.
I finally feel good and happy about regaining some control in my life and making this decision to do something, on my own. It’s still early on so i’m not sure how this new step on a weekly basis, is going to pan out, and how much it will truly help. However, i’m hoping and praying i can get to a better place, even if it is in the smallest ways possible, iA.
Anyways, this has been such a chatty post haha. It’s been too long since i’ve felt great and enjoyed blogging. I’ve definitely lost my motivation here (As well as a lot of other things in life), but i’m really hoping by the end of the year, once i’ve gotten past and moved into a new phase in life, then i can really invest in things I TRULY enjoy and i have more time.
Anyways, hope you all are having a great Ramadan. Let me know what your guys’ plan is for Eid!!
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Until next time, XOX